How will Robert Jordan die?
Fantasy fans have to get used to encountering authors who seem intent on dragging their series out forever, pumping out one volume after another in order to squeeze every last drop of cash from their willing fans. The flagship writer for this trend is Robert Jordan, whose Wheel of Time series has now been clunking along for almost fifteen years. Fans have generally accepted the fact that it will continue until the day that he keels over. Here are some ways that it could happen.
He yanks his braid so hard that he breaks his neck. *
He sniffs once too often while filling his car with gas at the station. *
He suffocates when a huge load of wool is dropped on his head.
He yells "Burn Me!" without realizing that he's at a convention for blowtorch manufacturers.
He gets trampled to death by an old goat. *
He's so busy adjusting his fringe that he doesn't notice a cement mixer bearing down on him.
He gets beaten to death with a switch.
(Entries marked with an asterisk were though up by an SDMB user named fizwig. All others are my own. If you can think of any more, feel free to send them to me and I'll post them here.)